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well...hello! or should i say, bonjour....? yes, that's right, i'm in paris. which most of you should know since i've been insufferably posting it all over my instagram. so, probably not a huge surprise there. but yes, i've been in paris for a little over two months now, and i don't know if i could tell you if i've necessarily found my french footing, but i do have a thought or two to share. so clearly, i've not been completely changed because i still have the incredibly un-parisian reflex to talk and talk and talk and talk and....

....talk and talk and talk. but where do i start? i suppose i'll take you back about two months.

i arrived in paris on march twenty-seventh with two suitcases, my signature strand bookstore sling bag, and zero sleep. i tried to sleep on the plane but the closest i got was sort of hazy while watching challengers. so, i land in paris at noon and spend the next few hours being whisked around the city.

surprisingly enough, most of the rest of my day fell through the cracks. however, i'd like to mention that i fell absolutely in love within the first three hours of being in paris. with my apartment. oh, it's just so lovely. covered from head to toe in french antiques and trinkets, all brought to life by huge chandeliers which illuminate just about every corner of the vast living room. velvet couches meet plush carpets which stretch to green wooden window shades, which open for the sole purpose of inspiring awe in their visitors, as they absorb the most perfect view of le jardin du palais royal. did i paint the picture for you? well, i hope so, because it's truly beautiful. lucky and blessed.

now, i'm sitting in my bed eating cherries and raspberries while drinking a tea made out of cherries and raspberries. paradoxical? anyways, i believe being over three thousand miles from just about everything i've ever known has been a cause for some reflection. i find myself flipping between excitement and anxiety for the next few weeks. even though it feels as if it has all just begun, my time in paris will come to an end and after a bit of traveling, i'll see those oh-so-familiar streets of new york city and my life will undoubtedly go back to how it has been for the past eighteen years. i'll live with my family and see the friends i still like and go to the beach and get drunk and wonder if anybody has actually ever missed me. i'll be kissed on the ferris wheel in coney island and turn nineteen and maybe i'll start to put up a fight. i'll read and write and probably put none of it here. i'll find myself tossed between loving how long my hair has gotten and dreaming about cutting it all off as it sticks to the sweat on my back. i'll stare at myself in the mirror and wonder what my body actually looks like to other people. i'll dream about winter and a life with more of what i already have. i'll drive myself crazy and it'll be the best summer of my life thus far.

this post is all over the place. it's because i started writing it over a month ago and been throwing things in here and there. i guess i should write more about paris but i'd like to believe that i'll get around to writing a seperate post about that. on va voir...

bises,

epic awesome cool girl